Thoughts on Rhianna's Interview

So last night 20/20 had the special interview on with Rhianna. I was interested in hearing what she had to say given my past experiences. I DVR'd the show and I'm watching it now.

She made one comment that stuck out to me. She said that when he was doing this to her he blacked out, there was no sole in his eyes. I wonder if this is something that is common in these situations? From my past experiences it happens every time. There's nothing there, it's like they become a different person.

At another point she was talking about the events as they happened. She mentioned that while it's happening you just wonder when it will end and you know that the only way it's going to stop is if someone hears you screaming and calls the cops. So you scream. He yells at you to stop screaming but you can't because you know that it's the only way it's gonna stop. However, this is rarely the case. Of all the times I've been in a situation like this living in apartments no one called the cops. I find that fact truly amazing. You hear a woman screaming, you hear banging and still don't call the cops. To me, society is messed up in this respect.

She said she after it happened she wanted it to go away. She said you push it to the back of your mind and lie to yourself. This is true, you push it back in your mind, you just want to forget about it and return back to normal life as you know it. You also wonder what you possibly could have done to have him do this to you. This is something that I've wondered to this day, and I can never figure it out.

She talked about the pain after the fact. The wounds heal, bruises heal, broken bones heal, but the pain and emotional scars come back whether you like it or not. That is true, the littlest things can and will trigger the memories of what happened and I don't know if this ever stops.

She also talked about if she thinks it's possible for a person to change. I agree with her opinion. She said yes people can change it is possible, but they have to WANT to do it. The only way anyone is going to change anything about them is if they want to do it.

I think one of the best things that Rhianna said was "this happened to me.....I didn't cause this". That is so important to remember. You don't do this to yourself, it happens to you.

All in all I found her interview interesting and sobering. I think all women who have been in this situation can agree and relate to what she had to say.

Pysical Assessment

Today was my initial meeting/assessment with my personal trainer. I had a great time! I wasn't surprised by the results, they were pretty much where I expected them to be.

My body composition is 32%. The target range for my age group is 22%. However my trainer, Emily, said that being in the 20's would be considered healthy. So I have a little work to get there, then I can work on my target goal.

My waist to hip ratio is a little small which is on the bad side, so I will be working on my core to get that ratio bigger.

She had me do a plank test to see where I was at with my core strength. I was able to hold the plank pose for 52 seconds. For a woman the average should be 2 min. I'm almost 1/2 way there! The side plank pose was the next test...I held this one for 16 seconds. The average is 45 seconds for this test.

Then she had me do some squats so she could check some things there. I did good with those! My form was good, just leaning forward a bit too much.

Lastly she had me do one legged squats. I'm super wobbly with these! No balance! But my squat was good.

She has a better idea of where to start with me now, but we didn't get to finish the assessment because there was a spin class in the usual assessment room. I have an appt to finish the assessment Tuesday before Dance It Off! Then I can really get started with my training program!

I cannot wait to get going on this. I had a great time and really like my trainer!

One Month and Al's Run

One month ago I committed to changing my lifestyle and becoming healthier. It's been a roller coaster to say the least! I've made great strides in that short amount of time. From making better decisions about what I eat to being able to jog for 20 min straight on the treadmill! The scale has not been my friend, but we're working on that! I haven't gotten a chance to do my normal weigh in for the day but the one I do in the morning was promising! According to that scale first thing in the morning I've lost 10 pounds in the last month! W00t! I also took my measurements and lost 2" in my waist and 1.5" in my hips!

To celebrate my accomplishments I've decided to take part in the Briggs & Al's Run & Walk for Children's Hospital. There running and walking options. I don't quite feel up to doing the running yet, so I've chosen to do a walk. The walk options are 3 and 5 miles. I do about 3 miles every day with the dogs so I figure I will try the 5 mile option since it will be more of a challenge! If you would like to make a donation you can visit my Firstgiving page: http://www.firstgiving.com/hhilde99.

My journey has just begun and I look forward to all the fun and positive changes to come!

Week 4 wrap-up

This is now my 4th week eating better and going to the gym 5 days a week. Week 4 was just an "off" week. Ever had those weeks when you just feel as though something is just not right? That was this week for me. Tuesday's Dance it Off class kicked my but! We did some bridge move where you lay on your back with your feet flat on the ground and lift your butt off the ground for the entire song. I felt that move all the way through Thursday! Thursday's run was hard I had the hardest time jogging and I even walked most of the 40 min. on the treadmill and THAT was hard. Today I skipped the treadmill and used the elliptical instead. A few less calories, but a lot easier on my tired sore legs!

I did ok on my eating this week. Tried a new tuna salad recipe and just could not eat it. The fishiness made me sick, so I had to go get a sub instead. Then I created the same recipe with chicken breasts and that was all good!

My weight seems to be stuck again this week. I had a couple nights where I didn't get a good night's sleep and I know that plays a part in it. However, I am a bit frustrated. To help with this aspect I've decided I would use my recent bonus from work to hire a personal trainer at my gym. She's actually the instructor for the Dance it Off class I take twice a week. The lady at the check-in desk said people usually go for 30 min sessions to start off with. So I purchased a package of 10 (30 min) sessions. I start off with the assessment next Friday then we'll start training from there. I'm pretty excited about this!

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Changing My Life One Step At A Time

About 3 weeks ago I made a decision that I was going to change the things I do not like in my life that I have control over. One of these changes was my weight. Weight has been something I've struggled with all of my life. And as I'm getting older I'm starting to notice the effects the extra weight is having on my body. The one thin I noticed that really pushed me into making this decision was the pain in my hips. It was getting to the point where I had a hard time taking the dogs to the park, something they needed an I enjoyed. I knew from previous experience that it had to do with my weight, so I decided to make the commitment to changing my eating and exercise habits. Almost 1 month later and I don't have that pain in my hips anymore, I have more energy, and I can even jog for 20 min straight - something I have never ever done my entire life! For 3 weeks now we have only eaten out once a week instead of 3+ times a week. I feel awesome about that change as well and we're saving a ton of money! Who doesn't like that in times like this!

I have also decided to do something about my "style" or lack there of. 95% of the time my attire is jeans and plain old t-shirts. I feel frumpy in this attire. So my goal here is to gradually replace my t-shirts with other types of shirts. Out of each paycheck I will be purchasing 2 new shirts that are not t-shirts. This weekend I'll have my work cut out for me! I didn't purchase any new shirts out of my last check therefore, I have to find 4 that I like. This is not a easy task for me as there are certain features I do not like to show.....such as this muffin top. LOL! I did purchase 2 new shirts a few weeks back and I just feel different wearing them, so this will help that frumpy feeling as well.

Next stop is my hair. I want to do something different with it, I just don't know what. I have a natural curl to it, which hinders a lot of styles you see in magazines etc. It just does what it wants when it wants to! And I can't even THINK about bangs...unless I want to spend HOURS trying to get them to sit right and not do a spiral curl! I am also very low maintenance on my hair. I prefer a brush and go tactic, most of the time without blow-drying. So this change is just going to hang out there for a while, until I can figure out what to do with it!

My last change thus far really has nothing to do with my life really, but it makes me feel good anyways. I've started using the reusable shopping bags when doing grocery shopping. I just feel good not wasting all those plastic bags anymore helping the environment.

The Barking

With the current living arrangement Bella has developed a new habit - Barking! This started on Sunday. It was really bad that day, she barked at anyone that walked by, anyone she could hear, and the neighbor behind us cause she could see people in their driveway. Very frustrating to say the least. Perhaps she picked up on the fact that I was a little anxious about being home by myself.

She's gotten better about the barking in the evening. Once I go to bed it's a different story! For the last 3 nights she has barked from 9 -12. Since the house is on a semi-busy street there are a lot of people that walk by, mostly a lot of teens now that it's summer. Every time she hears someone talking outside she barks and her barks are loud, so it startles me and it takes a bit to fall back to sleep. Day 3 and I'm exhausted! I appreciate the warning from her, but it would be SO much better if she kept it to when something is actually going on in our yard and not just people walking by! Hopefully this is just part of the adjustment process and she'll ease up with this eventually. I will also talk to her trainer tonight at CGC class.

As far as things with me are going. I have my ups and downs. Sometimes I'll randomly want to break into tears, and sometimes I enjoy the single life. It is a healing process, and a whole new experience since I've never ever lived by myself! I've noticed that each little task I complete on my own is a real confidence booster! I can only hope that Rick can find the good in this situation too. I don't know how much he knows about what's going to happen so I can't write too much about it, but I know that in the end everything will be fine.

What a difference

So, last week was my first week FLYing. I can say it's made a HUGE difference already. In a matter of a week I got my house to the point where I am comfortable having people stop over at random. I can see my kitchen counters...ALL of them! My bathroom gets a light cleaning every night. And the biggest/best benefit of all is I did not spend all weekend doing laundry! I've been doing 1 load a night since Wed last week, so by time Saturday came I had just 1 load of whites to do and I got that cleaned and put away first thing! This cleared the way for me to get the kitchen in order and get out and have some fun!

On Saturday I went to 7 mile fair with Rick, his Mom, his Grandma, and his Mom's friend. While there I got wind of a bit of drama that may be surrounding our House Warming party this weekend. In a nutshell, both Rick's biological Grandparents will be there in the same house at the same time. There are really bad vibes between the two and they have not seen each other in years...(at least 23). I believe it should go fine, we're all adults, but I still have a bad feeling about it. We will see.

I'm getting excited for the next couple of weekends. This up coming weekend is our housewarming/Rick's b-day party. Then the following weekend is my 10 year (gasp) class reunion. I will be heading up to Hudson on Thursday and not coming back until Monday. I'm looking forward to getting away for a while! Rick and I discussed this weekend and decided it's more important to have some time apart than to go to this reunion together. I will be taking the dogs with me to give him a break from them as well. All in all it should be a good couple weekends coming up!

Changes

I've come to a point in my life where I feel helpless in personal situations that I can't really change at the moment. The inability to make the necessary changes has gotten me down in the past, but I've decided to take a new outlook on this and make some positive changes for the things I can control!

My first change was doing the 100 push-up challenge. I started week 4 and have noticed some improvement already. Not only with the number of push-ups I can do, but also with the way my arms look. To others my arms will still look huge. To me through all that nastyness I can see a bit of muscle definition. It's an improvement for me and I'm excited about it! Imagine what will happen when I move onto real (non-girly) push-ups!

My second change has to do with cleaning. I am horrible at getting motivated to clean. It's a love-hate relationship for me. I love the feeling once it's done and everything is clean and in its place. The hate part is actually doing the work! I feel overwhelmed a lot and sometimes don't even know where to start.

There is one part in my kitchen which particularly annoys the crap out of me. It's where magazines, papers, mail etc pile up. It looks messy and unattractive, but I can't figure out a good solid solution for it. So in my search for solution ideas on how to handle it I came across this site.

I thought I have nothing to lose so why not give it a shot. So I did not shine my kitchen sink yet. Mondays and Tuesdays are late days and I had no bleach at home. I got bleach on my lunch break yesterday dinner is simple tonight so I think I'll be able to do it tonight! I have my fingers crossed. I have done a couple of the other items, one was taking 2 min to clean a hot spot. Well, I was at work when I got the tweet about it so I decided to quick do my desk. Can I say it's amazing how much of a difference 2 min can make???

I'm still trying to find a way to conquer that pile in my kitchen, but I'm sure I'll figure something out.

One more thing about the site...the fly in FLYing is an acronym for Finally Loving Yourself. I love that concept and I'm excited to start this part of my life!

Cheers to positive changes!

Feelin' Old

It's been a rough 2 weeks for my body. 2 weekends ago I was putting on a pair of jeans and when I lifted up my leg to put them on I felt a sudden pain in my hip. It stayed there for a good week and finally started to subside by the next weekend. However, it remained stiff just to let me know it was angry. Even now, sleeping on my left side is almost impossible because my hip gets grumpy and feels I need to move in order to make it some-what happy.

Then this morning came. I got in a good 30 min on the elliptical, showered and dressed, dogs for a mini-walk around the block (cause it was raining, so I wanted to keep it short), garbage out and all of the sudden I turned to grab something off the counter and BAM! pain! in my upper back, right under the left shoulder blade. Almost like a knot but very painful. It lets me know it's unhappy every time I move it. I walk around like an old lady leaning forward with my shoulders, just to try to avoid making it mad. However, we're out of litter and I was doing a Target run, so of course I get some (the big 35 lb bucket of course!). Putting it in the cart required lifting over shoulder height. Upper back did not like that! Then I was thinking crap, I have to do this 2 more times once to get it on the counter and once more to get it in the car. Curse the cat litter! My back yelled at me but it's now in the car and Rick agreed to bring it in the house for me when he gets home.

Meanwhile, it's time to start popping some Ibuprofen like it was candy again. I'm too young to feel this damn old....isn't that a Garth Brooks song? That makes me feel even older!

On the plus side, it's one week until I get my new phone....Palm Treo Pro :D and I take a small step in the direction of Dog Assisted Therapy.

The WI Humane Society is offering a 1.5 hour class covering everything you need to know about this kind of thing. When we first got Bella I wanted to do therapy with her. But she gets scared easily, and doesn't take to new people all that well. I have a sliver of hope that the Canine Good Citizen class she starts next month will help her enough to be able to like seeing people, but I'm doubtful it will help that much. Tucker on the other hand will be awesome at it. As the neighbor girl says, he's that smiling dog. It really does look like he's smiling sometimes! He absolutely loves people and I'm sure he'll be great at it. I have to wait for him to turn 1 year old and pass the Canine Good Citizen test, then we can get involved. I'm psyched!

Fitness Blog

I've started a second blog that I will use to track my journey to becoming physically fit. You can check it out here.

My first challenge will be the One Hundred Push Up Challenge. Wish me luck!

I'm Free!!

Today was my meeting with my Attorney. Basically he said that this is what he was hoping I'd do but since he represented my ex and I he couldn't tell me to dismiss the case. He also said that my ex had called there and told him to dismiss the case. He was like what kind of idiot has someone else paying their bills and then actually requests for that to stop? Someone who is scared of another person coming after them for not making court ordered payments, that's who! Now, he will be held responsible for his back child support and other bills, not me!

In the long run it works much better for me. One MAJOR plus is that I fall just above what the average household of 1 makes. If you fall above this you do not have to send half of all income tax refunds received in to the trustee. I know, kinda messed up, since if you fall below you do have to send that money in. Go figure! The cons of the situation are that I have to extend this thing for 5 years (I was set to be out of the last one in Nov. 2010), and if anyone dies and leaves me money in those 5 years it goes into the bk. Other than that it was a good meeting.

Under the new laws you have to attend credit counseling. Basically it's a waste of time. But I did it and it's done and over and it wasn't too painful. At least it's something you could do online! So I'm well on my way for better days :) YAY!

The Negatives

During my marriage I did not control much of the financial aspect. It stressed me out to the max and my Husband just took it over. I learned this was not such a good thing. Not only did my credit get shot to hell, but it led to the filing of a chapter 7 bankruptcy and a chapter 13 bankruptcy. Yes, it really was that bad. Had I known what I know now things would be different. I'm a little more careful with my credit and it's on the rebound. Or I should say was on the rebound.

This year the ch 13 got to the point where I was now paying off the $5,000 in back child support belonging to my ex-husband. It all fell on me when we split. He was court ordered to pay $307 a month and has not made 1 payment. Muchless any part of the $1100 I thought he paid from income tax returns a few years ago. I got frustrated and gave up, decided screw him I will just let it go and refile. So I skipped a payment. Actually at the time I was thinking I'll just skip it to see if he'll make any of it. Turns out no he didn't and the day after I sent in the missed payment and the current payment the Trustee filed a motion to dismiss the case.

This is where a part of me I just don't like came out. When I don't want to deal with things I just shut down and won't talk to people, even if they are there to help. So I sent in the payments, the tax refund and went about my business. Then a few weeks ago I get a call from my lawyer's office. I of course ignore it. Then this week I open up the mailbox to a letter saying the case was dismissed and another one saying to call the law office. This time I realize that I messed up. I called and she informed me that the case was dismissed.

Doing some research I find it's not such a good thing this happened. Now I want to reinstate the case. I hear it's possible and I've contacted my attorney about it. I just hope it doesn't call for any action on my ex. That just wouldn't be good.

Also, my mother called. Get It Now called for me at her house (mind you I haven't lived there for 10 years now). She didnt' give them info, but it will be shortly before she's inundated with calls from these types of people I'm sure. So now I wait, and work on owning up to my mistakes. I think I've made enough for a lifetime and wonder how many more I can make before everything just falls apart.

I've also been in a funk about my weight. To the point where I'm so sick of seeing emails/ads about exercises to do and ways to cut the lbs. I have the desire to lose weight, there's just something there blocking me from doing it. I've been eating crappy and the only exercise I've been getting is my two 45 min. walks with the dogs per day which I don't know if those even count. Yes they're better than nothing, but they're not full out exercise. I've also been in a pretty bad funk over all my mood, my attitude, everything. I hope I can get out of it soon, because I'm seeing things I don't like.

And the score is....

Bella: 2 retractable leashes, 1 6' leash from the humane society, and 2 harnesses....Make that 3 harnesses, the morning after writing this blog Bella chewed through her expensive Easy Walk Harness....she never did like that thing.

Tucker: 1 6' leash form the humane society and 1 harness.

As you can tell my pups have a knack for destroying leashes and harnesses. Tucker chewed through his harness last week when I left it on him b/c I was going to be letting him out again once the contractors got to the house. Then last night while the said contractors were at the house I had the leash on him so I could stop him from getting in their way. They asked me to come downstairs to look at something and upon my return upstairs the handle of his leash was separate from the rest of it. I'm sick of spending money on this stuff!

As far as house training goes just when I think we're getting somewhere with Tucker he pees in the dining room as he's playing (by himself). I really wonder if he will ever get it. I just don't understand why it's so hard! GRRRRR!

The search continues

Last week the company was out to clean out the vents and get rid of that dead animal smell coming in through our vent in the bathroom. However, the guy got to the bathroom vent and ran into some problems. Then he broke the head of his tool off in the vent....thus stopping further cleaning of the vents until the tool could be replaced!

Last night they came over to see if they could get the head out and to see if they saw anything in the duct once they removed it. The verdict: they didn't see anything! They also stuck their camera down the nearby ductwork and saw nothing. However, they both agree that there is a strong smell in that area. They also discovered that there have been mice in the dropped ceiling and there's a lot of mouse turds up there. They figure the mouse/mice came in through the area that the AC tubes/cords come go out of the wall to the outside unit....you can see outside through this hole!

I would LOVE to know who did the installation. Seriously how can you leave someone's house like that???? Luckily we have not seen any mice thus far and I doubt we will since we know that Abby enjoys a good mouse chase and is quite good at killing them!

So, we are still searching for that smell. Not sure if we will ever find this dead creature. I hope we do, perhaps I will send a cat on a ceiling search....it should hold all 10 lbs of Abby right???? LOL.

Adventures in home ownership

It's true when it comes to home ownership - it's always something. Last night I noticed a foul smell in the bathroom...worse than poop! So I cleaned the toilet since it was looking like it could use a good cleaning. Then I went to bed. This morning I wake up and the bathroom still reeks. While getting ready for work I played find that smell. Tub - smelled like body wash....Sink - smelled like mouthwash....Toilet - smelled like bleach although I could pick up a hint of "that smell". Ruling those options out I continue getting ready.

Abby comes along and enters the bathroom and goes straight to the vent.....I think could it be? The cats have been stalking that vent lately......like they did when there was the mysterious scratching noise that was assumed to be in mine and the cat's heads. I walk over and sniff ~ yup that's where that smell is coming from. Just to verify I'm not imagining things I have Rick come in and sniff too. At first he smelled nothing in the bathroom, so I had him sniff check the vent....and he smelled it too! I am not imagining these things! YES! Then disappointment sets in as I realize we now have a dead rodent of some kind in the vent smelling up the house. EWE! Rick says he'll take care of it. I'm glad he's taking care of it b/c if it was up to me I'd be paying to have the ducts cleaned and disinfected!

Ah, the adventures in owning your own home. What a great way to start a morning!

Shopping

Since I had off today I decided I would go ahead and look for a new dress that I could wear to my Niece's 1st Communion and my upcomming 10 year HS reunion. I'm assuming I can wear the same one to both right? I really have NO idea what to wear to that reunion, so I'm hoping this dress will cut it.

I went to Fashion Bug, Kohls, Dots, Sears, Pennys Boston Store, Layne Bryant.... all to no avail. I had my mind set on finding a little black dress, and the pickings were slim. Apparently if you're plus size you get a choice of moo moos and that's about it. I do not need to look like I'm an old maid in a moo moo really! So in a last ditch effort I went to another Fashion Bug and this one had a much better selection! YAY! I found the dress I picked out online. Unfortunately it made me look really fat and got glitter all over the place. So I tried on a second dress and this one was a winner! It's black with a see through layer over the top that has some flowers on it. I think it looks decent on me, I will wait to confirm that thought with Rick when he gets home tonight.

Dress shopping or any clothes shopping always turns out to be a self esteem shattering event. SO frustrating due to the fact that when you're plus sized you only have limited choices of clothing that is not made for old people! I absolutely HATE shopping for any clothing. So in the misdst of being devistated at every store I decided to go to the pet store where I knew I'd find something I neded...an easy walk harness for Bella (Tucker's works wonders!) and doggie nail clippers. While browsing around I get a phone call from the vet. Apparently the stool sample I brought in for Tucker came back positive. He has Giardia, which is some parasite that lives in the intestines and is not covered in standard de-worming medicine or his Sentinal tabs. This one is transfered through contaminated water sources. Bella had the same thing when we got her, so I kinda think it's something they got down south where they came from.

Luckily I was at the pet store when I got the call cause his meds have to be sprinkled on wet food. So I picked up 5 days worth of canned puppy food for both pups and 5 days worth of canned cat food. Somehow they all know if one of them is getting it and will be incredible persistant in the fact that they should get it too.

Adventures in House Training

As I've mentioned before, Tucker is impossible to house train when compared to Bella. As of yesterday we've had him for 5 weeks. He is still relieving himself in the house. Bella was potty trained in 3 weeks and only pooped in the house twice. Needless to say I'm frustrated!

This morning I awoke to poop in the kitchen (at least it was on the linoleum this time!) and pee on one of my rugs in the kitchen. Really frustrating!!! Not to mention that I somehow misplaced the enzyme cleaner. How that happens I'm not exactly sure! I'm thinking it's in a different cupboard. Kinda like last night when I went to get the oil out to make brownies I found the open jar of jelly sitting next to the peanut butter. I'm special. I think maybe early onset of Alzheimer's it does run in my family on both sides, so I'm doomed!

My new idea is to try the bell method. This method originates back to the Pavlov days where he trained dogs to salivate at the ring of a bell. So what I will be doing is buying some jingle bells and attaching them to the door knob. Each time we go outside we ring the bell. Eventually he's supposed to ring the bell when he wants to go out. I'm hoping this eliminates the problems we've been having.

My thought (or hope) is that Tucker doesn't know how to communicate with us he needs to go out. At night I suspect he is standing in the kitchen waiting and no one is noticing him (cause we're sleeping obviously!) so he just goes. Bella would ALWAYS come in the bedroom and whine. This would wake me and we'd go out and all was good. Perhaps she learned this from the nights she was in the crate and Tucker hasn't learned because he spent 2 nights in the crate and that's it.

If all else fails, Tucker will be sleeping in the crate at night as well and I will just feel guilty that he's in there all day and all night. My fingers are crossed!

It's been a while

I didn't think it's been over a month since my last post. Wow how time flies! I haven't been up to much other than spending time with the dogs, reading, and other miscellaneous tasks around the house.

We did get a second dog at the end of February. His name is Tucker and they say he's a Border Collie/German Shorthaired Pointer mix. I've learned that the Humane Society tries to do their best in determining the type of breed, however our vet tech says they base it on colors. Everyone always guesses Aussie mix first. So who knows. He's a good dog, very sociable (more so then Bella) and he and Bella absolutely loves him! They are constantly playing and teasing each other.



Potty training is not going as well with Tucker. Bella was quick at that...maybe too quick I got spoiled. 3 weeks is all it took and she only had 2 poopy accidents in the house. We've had tucker for 5 weeks now and he's still pooping in the house occasionally. Yesterday he pooped in his crate during the day and the night before that he pooped on the dining room carpet. I don't know why he did this, his schedule did not change. The week before I went to go to bed at night and there was a nice puddle on the comforter. Luckily we have the matress pad with the plasticy backing to it so it didn't leak onto the bed. I was PISSED! We only have one set of sheets for the bed so I had to scrounge for alternative solutions. He has yet to have an accident free week. I am frustrated. I think part of the problem is we were more lax with him than we were with Bella. She slept in the crate at night for a couple weeks at least. He slept in the crate at night twice.

I still take them for a 30 - 45 min walk every morning and we go to the dog park every day after work. The rain is making that difficult lately, but I do my best to get them out there. Tucker loves puddles and now with the rain and melted snow he's quite muddy when we leave. Bella has also started following him into puddles. I knew her staying away from them was too good to be true!

This got a lot longer than I planned it to be. That's what happens when you don't blog for a freaken month LOL!

1 Whole Year

As of 7:30 this morning it marked the 1 year mark since I quit smoking! I'm excited and proud that I actually was able to do this. It wasn't easy in the beginning. Now I find that I hardly ever find myself wishing for a cig during a stressful time (my biggest trigger). Now if only I could master losing weight like this!

Other happenings in my life about now:

Valentine's day weekend was fabulous! Rick and I went to the Polaris on top of the Hyatt for dinner on the 13th. The view was beautiful, but we didn't think the food was that great. When I pay $30 + for a steak I think it should be cooked perfectly! Neither of ours were perfect. But the view was wonderful and it was a very nice experience.

As a valentines present Rick got me a $100 gift card to Vici Capilli Salon and Spa! I'm psyched about this. I've never ever been to a spa before and I'm so looking forward to a massage! I made my appointment yesterday for a Relaxation package! Facial, 30 min massage, and an areoma therapy foot soak. Plus free lattes or anything from their relaxation bar. SWEET!!! It did throw me off for a second when the lady who was scheduling me asked if I wanted a male or female massage person. Honestly that thoght never crossed my mind. I went female, I didn't want to add any extra anxiety around my first massage...just in case. ;)

One of our wonderful kitties has OCD. Somehow I find this funny (as in funny haha) that one of our cats ended up OCD go figure! What he does is licks his belly constantly, this the vet says is his way of dealing with stress and/or boredom. We have to try a diffuser that works like a glade plug in but with a cat pheramone instead of scent. This is supposed to calm cats. I believe it will work because the vet sprayed some on his hand then rubbed it on the towel in the cat carrier. After that Abby fell asleep (in the carrier at the vet!) and Spaz appeared more relaxed and didn't huddle in the back of the carrier. Also, the ride home was much much quieter. Abby didn't meow at all and Spaz only did a little bit. A complete difference from the way to the vet!

Now that the kitchen sink is dethawed we have come to another problem. Now it's the garage door opener. It opens fine but closing is a challenge. It stops and reverses every 6 inches or so. NOT FUN! I think we're in agreement that we're going to get a new opener as the one we have now is very old.....infact it is the same one that my parents have and that has been in there since we moved into that house 23 years ago! Wow that makes me feel old! I'm excited about the new one we picked out. It's more expensive but cool. It has a battery backup which is necessary since the garage door is our only option for getting in the garage. It also has the keypad and a fingerprint reader! How cool is that, we can open it with our fingerprint!

Everything else seems to be good. Knock on wood!

25 Random Things

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I bought my first house in August with my boyfriend of 2 years, Rick
2. I got a puppy in October and she's the coolest dog ever!
3. I have lost a total of 60 pounds and still have more to go.
4. I'm at a plateau with my weight loss at the moment.
5. Our kitchen drain freezes when it's really cold out and the faucet is dripping.
6. To stop the faucet from dripping you have to turn the handle just right....not easy to do when you're in a hurry in the morning.
7. We had to use a space heater, a hose with hot water, a fan, remove boards in the basement, and add new insulation to the pipe area in the wall to get the drain to de-thaw.
8. The previous owners shoved old clothes in the joist between the foundation and the house for insulation.
9. I'm deathly afraid of centipedes. They have too many legs and move too fast for me.
10. We have problems with centipedes at the office. Last year we kept a count of them...there were 45, most of which came from my office.
11. I drive a minivan and actually like it
12. I am working really hard on changing my eating habits, it's not going that well.
13. I am afraid of losing my job.
14. I work for a small company (4 employees)
15. I live in South Milwaukee
16. I got married in 2001.
17. I left my ex-husband in August of2006 after he chased me around the house with a knife trying to destroy my laptop because he thought I was cheating on him.
18. I don't believe in cheating on a person. If you want to get involved with someone else end the current relationship and don't cause unnecessary pain.
19. My divorce didn't go through until November 2007 b/c my ex started it then waited until the last day to try to file the rest of the paperwork, which he didn't have filled out correctly and the courts wouldn't let me file since he was the one who started the process. I ended up finishing it after the clerk saw his attempt of stretching the process out.
20. I'm getting increasingly anal as I get older. At one time I didn't care which way the toilet paper went on the dispenser...now I have to change it if it's not a "waterfall"
21. My favorite soda is Coke
22. My weakness is chocolate
23. I enjoy working with databases and would like to get Microsoft Certified in SQL Server.
24. I sometimes wonder if I chose the wrong career.....I think I should have worked with animals, something I've wanted to do when I was little.
25. I still love ducks!


I'm not tagging anyone, but I welcome anyone who would like to list 25 random things!

Career change?

This is something that's crossed my mind several times over the last year. I think I may have even blogged about it here and there. When things get really shitty around here I always find myself questioning my career choice. I talk to others in my field and a lot of them really have a passion for technology. For me it's just something that pays the bills. Sure I find it exciting to learn about new technologies much less get to use them in the real world. But it doesn't really make me tick. The only area that has a faint tick in that aspect is working with databases. I need to get my butt in gear and get my certs in that.

The thing(s) that really make me tick are animals. I've always been into animals as long as I can remember. Growing up I always wanted to be a vet. But as I got older I decided the schooling was less and less appealing. Especially once I got to my first college level chem class and failed miserably! I could see myself in the position of a vet tech and I think I'd be happy doing that. I could actually see it as being fulfilling. However, I've done a little looking into the salary and found that it's about half of what I'm making now. That's a little hard to get used to if you know what I mean.

Who knows, maybe some day my prince charming will stroll up on his white horse and I'll be able to afford to go back to school, and take a 50% salary cut just so I can't be happy.

One clever pup

My little puppy Bella is quite clever I found out! While we were visiting my Parents for Christmas a friend took her for the weekend. While she was at their house she somehow got out of the kitchen without moving the gate or the chair on the opposite side of the gate. Lord only knows how she managed that one. At 25 lbs you'd think she would have moved the gate if she climbed it.

Last night I discovered she's learned how to get into the cat room. We put the gate in the door way so that it leaves about 3-4 inches at the bottom so the cats can get under it, but the dog can't. However, she's been getting in the room and eating their food somehow. Well, last night she happened to wake me up while eating the food. When I told her to get out she crawled under the gate and I readjusted it, making it a little lower. No more than 30 min. later I hear her messing with the gate. So I take a look and here she has her head under the gate and is trying to push it up enough so she can squeeze under it! That little turkey!!!

Now I must devise another plan to keep her from eating the cat food. I'm thinking about putting a table in there next to the cat tree so the cats have easy access to get to it but the dog can't reach. I'm just happy that she seems to be over her "I need to mark this room" phase (knock on wood)!

I'm sure I'll have many more adventures in the future. She really is a good pup and catches on to things SO quick! In puppy kindergarten she would have the hang of new things within 3 attempts! However, she's a Mommy's girl and will not listen to Rick....could be his method of yelling at her instead of positive reinforcement like I use. She will do anything for a treat...except roll over. :P