So last night 20/20 had the special interview on with Rhianna. I was interested in hearing what she had to say given my past experiences. I DVR'd the show and I'm watching it now.
She made one comment that stuck out to me. She said that when he was doing this to her he blacked out, there was no sole in his eyes. I wonder if this is something that is common in these situations? From my past experiences it happens every time. There's nothing there, it's like they become a different person.
At another point she was talking about the events as they happened. She mentioned that while it's happening you just wonder when it will end and you know that the only way it's going to stop is if someone hears you screaming and calls the cops. So you scream. He yells at you to stop screaming but you can't because you know that it's the only way it's gonna stop. However, this is rarely the case. Of all the times I've been in a situation like this living in apartments no one called the cops. I find that fact truly amazing. You hear a woman screaming, you hear banging and still don't call the cops. To me, society is messed up in this respect.
She said she after it happened she wanted it to go away. She said you push it to the back of your mind and lie to yourself. This is true, you push it back in your mind, you just want to forget about it and return back to normal life as you know it. You also wonder what you possibly could have done to have him do this to you. This is something that I've wondered to this day, and I can never figure it out.
She talked about the pain after the fact. The wounds heal, bruises heal, broken bones heal, but the pain and emotional scars come back whether you like it or not. That is true, the littlest things can and will trigger the memories of what happened and I don't know if this ever stops.
She also talked about if she thinks it's possible for a person to change. I agree with her opinion. She said yes people can change it is possible, but they have to WANT to do it. The only way anyone is going to change anything about them is if they want to do it.
I think one of the best things that Rhianna said was "this happened to me.....I didn't cause this". That is so important to remember. You don't do this to yourself, it happens to you.
All in all I found her interview interesting and sobering. I think all women who have been in this situation can agree and relate to what she had to say.
Well...
14 years ago
